Explaination..... (how do i connect with people)

Hi, Ime Mike, and well into my 70s now, and have been involved in travel and adventure for nearly 60 yrs, with many euphoric and often also, difficult experiences .....

having driven across the Sahara some 50 yrs ago.....trudged through the junges of the Congo....camped alone in the Serengeti....surfed big waves all around the globe, and many many more sensational experiences....

what imé about to share with you, comes from a lifetime of those experiences  

 

There are 2 major behavioural patterns that need to be taken on board first, to connect with people.........and imé sure you've heard both of them at some point in your life...

 

(1) "If you want friends, be friendly",.....( imé sure you've all heard that,) .....and

(2) 'Information is power', or...... 'Information is King'

 

However, ....I have found that some people, no matter how hard they try, dont seem to come across ....friendly....... It just seems, somewhat difficult for them to make friends.....in fact, maybe, that sounds a little like you ( and i would have to say....many many others....you and i are not the only one's i assure you! )

So lets deal with that one first,..... and we'll blend into the 2nd

Some people just seem to be lacking in the warmth stakes,...just seem to be aloof....stand offish.....uneasy...unconfident.

You ask them a question and they just stare at you, or nod, or appear to show a little interest in your question....

However, we often dont realise,....that they are just unskilled in responding, or dont know what to say, or respond in very minimal terms....not appearing to stimulate the conversation,....but stiffling it

I went thru a phase like that myself,....(as a teenager)....where my response was just ....yes or no...or appearing to have little or no interest in the conversation

and do you know why that was?

.....because my whole life consisted of surfing...surf,surf, surf

If you mentioned surfing...you couldn't shut me up...

but mention anything else,...and i was lost for words,.... and so your connection with people starts to narrow down...

and yes, i had a number of surfing friends, but outside of that circle.....i was lost.....even to the point of fear, as i was when i stumbled through my groom speech at my wedding, nearly fainting through the first sentence, quickly thanked my brother...then sat down.....shaking like a leaf...

 

 

10 years later.....im'e speaking to a large group of people ......confident,... having many friends (in the surfing community of course),...but also many other friends, with different interests and motivations than my primary interest....surfing

Even to this day, i have many friends with different interests than me ........( apart from my many friends in the surfing community of course )

 

Let me explain....

What happened to me ...."what bought about this radical change"?

Firstly....'if you want friends...be friendly'.....sounds so easy doesn't it!

However, being friendly to others....requires a response...doesn't it? ( not just a smile )

When someone communicates with you.......just smiling back,...without responding, leaves the initiator in somewhat of a dilema, doesn't it!

Just a smile is not really communication, is it!...and your interaction with that person will be shortlived, i assure you.

No,....a warm smile.....coupled by an intelligent response, is the beginning of a friendship. It demonstrates that you are showing interest in that person.....and i dont mean...just a 'yes' or a 'no', or a nod of the head.

Imé talking about an intelligent response......to add to the conversation

Even a very minor response, will often do the trick,......and in order to even have a minor response, requires you to know a little bit about what they are talking about...doesn't it?.......it requires you to be, at least, a little bit familiar with what they are saying, and know a litttle bit about the subject doesn't it!

 

In other words,....a little bit of general knowledge comes into play..

You need to know a little on the subject,....to expand,....and liven the conversation, to make it reciprical....to make it stimulating for both parties

Its often said that you just need to be a good listener,....but imé telling you,....to make many friends, you need to be a good reponder too.....

 

And what that means,.....

is that,....

instead of playing video games,.... taking selfies....and looking for likes all  day long on your smartphone....

rather...

spend a small portion of that wasted time.....educating yourself,.....and its not that hard.....its actually fun!....believe me!

and you dont need to know all the mechanics of brain surgery,...or the intricacies of selling a house, or know the population of Los Angeles

What you need to know,....is just some general knowledge on each subject,.... to just add to,..... and continue a conversation

Even knowing the most minor bit of information on the subject, can help continue a conversation

However....the key is.....

Let them be right.....

Let them enlighten you.....(show surprise)

and let them be the knowledgeable one....in other words....let them win!!

and thats one of the motivations...in creating this website

to familiarise yourself with this amazing world...via other peoples hard work, in providing for you.....videos that you can absorb....and become familiar with the subject

There's no question...........that today........travel is one of the most major topics of conversation, and a little bit of broad knowledge of this subject will take you a long way in a conversation 

Let me give you an example.....

you meet someone for the first time.....

"Hi ime Mike"

"Hi ime Mary"

(Mike)..."are you local"..... or...... ''I can't place that accent....what would be your heritage"........( dont say..... "where do you come from"..... it seems to offend some people....especially if they are local)

(Mary)..."Oh..im'e Spainish...I was originally born in Spain, but left there when i was 9"

(Mike)..."Wow....What a beautiful country.......I was recently watching a video of Spain....id'e love to go there some day"...

(there's a 12 minute video on this website....thats all you need)

(Mike)..."I know Spain is famous for its bullfighting....it looks pretty scary....have you seen one"

(Mary)..."No ime anti-bullfighting these days"

(Mike)..."Me too.....to barbaric for me"

(Mary)..."Ha..yea..me too"

 

And there you have meaningful connection.......you dont need to know any more than something like that...

With just a little knowledge, you have entered into their world.....and all you did was watch a short vid!!

 

And don't just keep asking them questions.....conversation is a 2 way street.....say something like......(Mike)..."My heritage is Irish....apparently i came from convict stock".....(both have a bit of a laugh...lightens and warms the conversation)

 

On this website.....I have literally spent hundreds of hours, selecting the best videos i could find on the subjects that i have included on the Navigation Menu....

(1) ....To stimulate you to look forward to a great experience....to Travel....to be Adventurous

and

(2) ....To broadly educate you on a variety of travelling subjects ....and also to inspire you.......to try something you haven't done before

 

hope this helps

"Au revoir"

    Mike

 

Photos...grateful thanks.

Sebastion Leon Prado

Ben Whit

pxhere

Elfano Intintolo